): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
