It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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