Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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