So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
