it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
