Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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