I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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