I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am naked and annoyed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
