I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
