FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
