You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
