very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
50% drunk capacity currently
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize