So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
