she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
