her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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