Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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