Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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