Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
