just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
