nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
