You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
