She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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