That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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