I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Drake has all the answers
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize