watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
