We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
