He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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