No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the day after is always just damage control
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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