it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
