Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
