I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
