I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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