i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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