hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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