My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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