i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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