ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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