you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
