Your face is a jimmy john
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize