dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize