I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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