I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
