You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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