yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
