Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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