This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize