i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
