The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
lets start a swedish sibling band together
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
