did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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