i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
