sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
