he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize