Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
