so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
