In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
