So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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