Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
