Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
